I have learned that I am limited. That isn't a bad thing, but it is frustrating at times when I cannot do I that I hope to do. I have had to learn to let go of my own understanding of success and do the best I can with who I am and what I have. Aligning my will with God's has been refining and difficult, but also deepening, inspiring, and hopeful.
We have been continuing in the Book of Alma in my class. As I have relearned Alma and Amulek's story, I have learned much. As we walk the narrow path it is surely not easy. Alma is rejected, but still commanded to return and try again. Amulek helped Alma, and then, when the people destroy the believers by fire, reason tells us that his family was likely among the victims. He loses his family. He longs to call on God to deliver them, but he is asked to have faith and wait. How difficult that must have been for both Alma and Amulek to have to stand by and see the torture. They withstand terrible prison conditions- treated in the opposite way in how God asks us to treat others. They were hungry, thirsty, naked, and bound. They were abused and mocked, yet they remained silent. This is just another example where I see similitude to that of Jesus Christ. They were patient in their afflictions until the power of God came upon them and they rise. Then Alma asks (Alma 15:26), "How long shall we suffer these great afflictions, O Lord? O Lord, give us strength according to our faith which is in Christ, even unto deliverance." I have prayed this (in different words) before. I have had difficulties and struggles, just like everyone else. I get overwhelmed and discouraged. I deal with depressive tendencies and self-doubt. I worry that I am ruining my children and not doing enough in my marriage. I worry that my efforts in school will never be enough. I fear failure. And yet, I have faith that God will lead me. I can learn to be more patient in my afflictions like Alma and Amulek. My trials are different and not as extreme as theirs, but the struggle is enormous at times for me. I am grateful for the knowledge that the scriptures give me. I am so thankful for the people of the past who influence my future and improve my understanding of what I desire. I am grateful for loving Heavenly Parents who watch over me, love me, and encourage me through prayer, the words of the prophets, and through personal revelation.
Miracles happen for Alma and Amulek and they emerge unharmed, even thought logic cannot explain this. They do not hesitate to continue in teaching people about God's plan. How they must have emerged stronger, more faithful, and dealing with some very painful realities. Amulek joins Alma as they move on to a new town to teach and their story goes on from their.
I did not remember much about Amulek before reading, but I will not be forgetting his strength and faith any time soon. I will look to him, and Alma, and Abinadi, and others who have lived to share God's love and His call to come unto Him. I hope that I too can teach those around me and that my weaknesses will not prevent me from acting how God would have me act regardless of the difficulties ahead. I am so grateful for my journey here on this earth. May God give us all strength.
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