Week 14- About to Turn Back

This year has been full of change. My family has been altered by so much newness in our lives. Coming back to school was not a decision that we took lightly, but I still was not prepared. 

I have learned to trust God more deeply. I have learned that God provides a way when a prompting is given. I have learned that I have control over almost nothing in my life, and that when I stop trying to control everything that peace comes and things work themselves out. I have also learned that God is aware of me and my family. Obedience brings blessings and as I strive to prioritize correctly, that God will bless my family in spite of our lack of time, energy, etc. I have struggled in multiple ways. I have had confusion and sorrow fill my mind. I have felt overwhelmed. I felt like a failure in so many ways. 

In the Book of Mormon, Ammon shares something in Alma 26 that stood out to me. "Now when our hearts were depressed, and we were about to turn back, behold the Lord comforted us, and said: Go...and bear with patience thine afflictions and I will give you success." (Alma 26:27). This verse rings true to me in so many ways. I have questioned myself, my ability to receive revelation, my ability to succeed, and more. I have cried and worried and continued to turn to God for confirmation of my choices. And when I was ready to quit (turn back), God sent comfort. Comfort sometimes came as a peaceful feeling. It came as a sister or mother checking on me. It came as a neighbor who offered to bring dinner after I had prayed about feeling lonely. 

As I have been been optimistic and patient in all of my stress, I truly have been given bits of success. I've had ideas to help my children or have gotten a decent score on a test when my study time was extremely limited. 

One of my favorite quotes is from Spencer W. Kimball, "Unless the way we live draws us closer to our Heavenly Father and to our fellowmen, there will be an enormous emptiness in our lives." He also has said, "God does notice us, and he watches over us. But it is usually through another person that he meets our needs. Therefore, it is vital that we serve each other..."

Ammon was an incredible example of serving others and showing God's true love. He was a patient teacher and trusted God's time table, because of this he was able to convert many to the Gospel. "Yea, I know that I am nothing; as to my strength I am weak; therefore I will not boast of myself, but I will boast of my God, for in his strength I can do all things..."  (Almo 26:12)

If you read the story of Ammon, you know that he is not weak, but he didn't claim the strength and ability he had. He credits God for all that he is able to do. 

I know that this year I have been lead to do things that I did not have strength to do on my own. I know that God has given me strength and sent living angels to help me move forward. I am so thankful for all that I am learning and for the opportunities that I am being prepared for. I pray that my faith will continue to grow and that I can share my own testimony through who I am and the things I choose to do. I love my Heavenly Parents with all my heart and I am eternally grateful for the sacrifices that have been made by my earthly parents (and in-laws), grandparents, and other ancestors who have made my life possible. We really are connected more than I ever realized. I am grateful for God's comfort and for support of my husband and family as we continue on this journey.